Years ago when I was a girl, my dad brought home a film for us to watch as a family. A lovely drama, which I had already read the Readers Digest copy that we had, and was utterly disapointed with the ending (not knowing at 10 years old that readers digest doesn't give you the full book).
The film was "Little Women" and starred a number of admirable strong actors from that decade including Winnona Rider (before her fall from grace as a shop lifter - but I don't give a rats, we all have our demons!), Gabrielle Burne, and Susan Sarandon and introduced or strengthened a lot of other players, including Christian Baile, Claire Danes, Kirsten Dunst.
It began a life long appreciation of the film. I watch it probably twice a year and still cry several times at each viewing. It should be added here that I regularly revisit the book too now I have the full version - I'm an avid re-reader and re-watcher. I get my favourites and re-watching or re-reading is sometimes like sitting down with an old friend and sharing a myriad of adventures and emotions.
I think it is the bond between the sisters in the film that really does it for me. Having two sisters, to whom I feel unbelievably close, but exerience irregular (loving) contact with I feel it pulls directly at those same heartstrings I have saved for them. Like in the story, we have all grown up and grown apart searching for our own purpose in life, fulfilling careers (well, not me so much), romantic attatchments and the like. But like the girls in the story, I would hope that whatever happenned, whatever setbacks and whatever arguments we have, we will be there for each other; and when circumstances do not permit a drop of everything to be at their side for support, to know that we are together in spirit and feeling their love from a distance will be enough to pull us through our darkest of moments.
Our father almost indoctrinated in us the importance of family relationships with the sweet saying, "A family sticks together closer than glue". And a lovely story of a pair of sisters whom he grew up with from his church as a boy, that every year organised a holiday for a week, or a weekend, so that they could reconnect and share that same girlhood love they had always had for one another. From the bottom of my heart, thankyou daddy.
Anyway, I'm getting away from what I wanted to talk about. One part in the movie, when Jo, the second child takes a sabatical in New York to throw herself into literature and pursuit of a writing career, she meets a German Professor of Philosophy, who has emegrated to America to improve his own prospects. They talk about Transcendetalism... I was struck by the ideals hinted at in the movie, and from the tender age of 10 decided this would be how I would try to live my life. However, I never looked into the movement, being content enough with the explaination in the film of spending your life reflecting on your actions and feelings and forever attempting to perfect yourself - ie, always striving to be the best you can be...
But tonight for the first time I decided to 'Google' it. I didn't look at too many sources, but what I have come to understand is that it was a Christian movement whose basis was finding spiritual fulfilment and worship outside the doctrine of the church or organised religion. Well, this is fantastic! Because in the past 7 or 8 years, I had decided to do this too...
Now if you know me, you'll say - "You big fibber! You're not a Christian!" and you'd be correct. I'm not a Chrisitan. Nor am I a Bhuddist, Atheist, Agnostic etc etc... I don't have a religion and I don't believe in GOD, so to speak. I have spent years opening my eyes to the possibility of GOD, but choosing not to live a religious lifestyle. I have dabbled in documentaries about various religions and their ideals and method of worship and had lengthy discussions with religious friends about their GOD (a lot of which I listened, but warned them I would not be preached at). I have decided that because even in the most remote parts of the world, wherever people have come together they have felt the need to experience spirituality and share it with each other. Eventually they organise a religion to do this, and from what I can see, their spirituality becomes somewhat perverted under the rules and regulations set out for worship in these religions, opening it to corruption and for want of a better description, 'sinful' behaviour.
My theory, philosophy, way of life, whatever is always so hard to explain to people. As soon as I say I have no religion, and no belief in GOD as religions percieve it, everyone wants to label me an Atheist... I don't like labels... People can't understand that I don't want one and I just want to have a spiritual relationship with my own soul, which is what I believe is GOD... See recent discovery of 'the GOD gene' in scientific circles and you might get an idea of what I'm talking about.
But from what I see, transcendentalism, if you can remove the basic doctrine away from the Christian values in its roots - you have pretty much what I have. Your own recognition that there is a GOD (excuse the label, but thats the easiest way to explain it) within yourself. A GOD you are answerable to and want to make proud. And that GOD is you, yourself, your soul, your heat, your mind...
So tonight I go to bed happy in the thought that I am spritual, and not religious. And I'm Okay with that. I'm okay if you want to put a label on me, or tell me that my philosophy is a pile of bull, designed to rid me of the guilt of not following an organised religion and their rules. I don't care. I am very in tune with whether my actions are right or wrong, and I'm not looking for any kind of afterlife of redemption other than what I can direct in my life - this life. There are, or have been, other people out there who like me, want to experience spirituality on their own terms, and make their own rules. And they are still good people for it.
And to my sisters... Sweet Dreams. I am thinking of you. *kiss**kiss*
A great read
ReplyDelete