Girls at the Easter Show - WTF!

So I've been thinking its been a while because I've been flat out with shift work and a certain manager who seems to have it in for me (B!TCH).  Although this is not my bed time, Child 1 is watching "The Wiggles" and Child 2 is down for his nap, so technically, I can still call this a bed time pondering.

Let me preface by saying as a mother of 2 infants, a shiftworker partnered with a shift worker, I don't get out all that often (unless its a train station cos I work at one).  Last week dear partner and I took our daughters to the Easter Show.  I met them at lunch time after coming off the morning shift and having a SH!T fight with one of my managers who was not behaving as professionally as she should have in a possition of authority - so lets face it I was not in the best mood when I arrived at the show.

I might add, this is only the second time I have been to the Royal Easter Show (at 27yo) and I made hubby promise this would not be a repeat of the first time we went 2 years ago where we spent the entire day in the rides and games area waiting for his then 10yo daughter to exhaust her ride tickets (6 hrs) and us getting more and more grumpy that we were missing out on all the free fun stuff, animals, food and varius displays - particularly the wood chopping.  Should I say, it was an exact repeat and I am vowing I will never be tricked to go to the show with my step daughter again, unless we have NO RIDE TICKETS!

We then bought too many show bags IMO and headed to the arena to get a good seat to eat dinner to sit and watch the motorbikes and cars and fireworks (BIG DISAPPOINTMENT) which was interupted by a call from partners ex to ask him to use some of the money she gave him for entertaining stepdaughter to buy show bags for her other kids (WHAT! Its the end of the day and we already spent our money and I'm getting more and more pissed off!) like as if she didn't plan to do that all along - the milking COW!

Anyway, what I wanted to talk about was with all that waiting around I had lots of time to view other people and their goings on.  And what I saw the girls wearing shocked me a bit.  What is the mother of an 8 yo thinking walking along side her dressed to the nines when her daughter is wearing the baggiest shortest white cuttoffs I ever saw - so short that the pockets were hanging down from inside the hem by 2 inches and her underpants (blue) were hanging out the back!  And by hem, I'm not sure what I mean because there was no hem!  They had been frayed and washed and frayed some more so that they had big long frayed tassles that looked like tampon strings hanging off them!  Then I looked around properly and all the young girls are wearing them!

Except the ones I was seeing were worse!  When I wore cutoffs in the early 90's, I either hemmed them, or trimmed the tassles each time they were washed.  What is the go here?  Am I out of touch?  These were teamed with all manner of tops and high heeled shoes, not to mention the most memorable were patterned hose and open toed heels with a plunging singlet that had about 20 holes in the back with knots tied in them.  This 16 or so year old girl was not wearing a bra (no biggie) but she was also not wearing a jacket and it was cold.  And she was carrying on with about 4 guys she was with, falling all over them and giggling with not a single female friend in sight.  She looked like a mole.  And she was acting like a mole...  Poor thing probably didn't even realise it :'(  My heart goes out to her and I want to slap her mother.
This current trend IMO shows such a strong disregard for personal grooming and self respect.  Mothers must buy these 'shorts' for their daughters and fathers must let them leave the house looking like the kind of girls their own mothers warned them about.  Don't get me wrong, if you're a cute girl or woman with nice legs short shorts can be awesome - I'm not against short shorts.  But isn't the idea with fashion to show off one asset at a time?  Legs, back, decolletage, cleavage, or shoulders etc?  If they want to show off everything at the same time - why bother wearing anything at all?

Who is teaching these girls self respect and how to behave so other people will also respect them?

Song Lyric Discussion - The King Of Oak Street

So I was driving to Goulburn this morning before work (gee our life is hectic at the moment) and I started singing this song outta no where... 


THE KING OF OAK STREET
KENNY ROGERS

Like a leaf caught in the wind he drifted a while
With no purpose or direction to his life
He tried to get himself together and pacify his mind
And forget about the things he left behind.

A cryin' woman he left standing in his door
With a two- month- old baby in her arms
His little black book he left torn upon the floor
God only knows he never meant to do her wrong.

A careless weekend on the other side of town
Has torn the king of Oak Street's Castle down
And all week long he's tried to phone her but she won't let him explain
Now Sunday morning finds him walking in the rain.

He sits now in a phone booth and he prays
That she'll forgive him and she'll believe he's changed his ways
With shaking hands he deposits his last dime
And he's still praying that she won't hang up this time.

Then the sweetest voice he's ever heard says “hello”
Breakfast's almost ready baby, come on home
I've thought the whole thing over and I think I understand
That the king of Oak Street is just an ordinary man.

I've thought the whole thing over and I think I understand
That the king of Oak Street is just an ordinary man.

So I fell in love with this song as a young girl.  It might not be considered 'cool' but these schmaltzy country ballads are my favourites...
But because I fell in love with it as a girl, I always wondered what the husband and wife were fighting about for the whole week he didn't go home.  But in the end I just dismissed it and enjoyed the song.
UNTIL TODAY!
Being a bit more worldly than I was as a teen, when I got to the line about 'his little black book left torn up on the floor' I completely baulked.  With a big out loud "OH MY GOD! WHAT A PIG!" right there in the middle of the song driving the car with the kids in the back (oops - big OOPS!).  Bonnie will probably tell me again thats how you drive like she's told my friends before - I swear my road rage incidents are few and far between and she still thinks you drive along shouting abuse at people...  So when I got out of the car in Goulburn I asked Glenn what a little black book was (just to confirm my suspicions) and found my suspicions were right.
The couple in the song were fighting because his wife with (I assume) their baby of 2 months found the book with all the numbers of his booty calls in it!
I always thought that it was so sweet that the wife came around in a loving 1950's way and forgave him and understood him.  I thought it would be a romantic to be so understanding and forgiving and then just go back to being the loving wife like nothing happened.  I also always thought it would be nice if a man was hung up on you enough to mope around for a week trying to call you after a massive bust up trying to get back together with you...
But after today?  I just think you stupid girl - he diss'ed you in the biggest way!  You should have left him out in the rain FOREVER!

I'm not sure I still like the song...  Tell me I've interpreted it wrong so I can put it back in my love box :'(

Transcendentalism...

Years ago when I was a girl, my dad brought home a film for us to watch as a family.  A lovely drama, which I had already read the Readers Digest copy that we had, and was utterly disapointed with the ending (not knowing at 10 years old that readers digest doesn't give you the full book).

The film was "Little Women" and starred a number of admirable strong actors from that decade including Winnona Rider (before her fall from grace as a shop lifter - but I don't give a rats, we all have our demons!), Gabrielle Burne, and Susan Sarandon and introduced or strengthened a lot of other players, including Christian Baile, Claire Danes, Kirsten Dunst.

It began a life long appreciation of the film.  I watch it probably twice a year and still cry several times at each viewing.  It should be added here that I regularly revisit the book too now I have the full version - I'm an avid re-reader and re-watcher.  I get my favourites and re-watching or re-reading is sometimes like sitting down with an old friend and sharing a myriad of adventures and emotions.

I think it is the bond between the sisters in the film that really does it for me.  Having two sisters, to whom I feel unbelievably close, but exerience irregular (loving) contact with I feel it pulls directly at those same heartstrings I have saved for them.  Like in the story, we have all grown up and grown apart searching for our own purpose in life, fulfilling careers (well, not me so much), romantic attatchments and the like.  But like the girls in the story, I would hope that whatever happenned, whatever setbacks and whatever arguments we have, we will be there for each other; and when circumstances do not permit a drop of everything to be at their side for support, to know that we are together in spirit and feeling their love from a distance will be enough to pull us through our darkest of moments.

Our father almost indoctrinated in us the importance of family relationships with the sweet saying, "A family sticks together closer than glue".  And a lovely story of a pair of sisters whom he grew up with from his church as a boy, that every year organised a holiday for a week, or a weekend, so that they could reconnect and share that same girlhood love they had always had for one another.  From the bottom of my heart, thankyou daddy.

Anyway, I'm getting away from what I wanted to talk about.  One part in the movie, when Jo, the second child takes a sabatical in New York to throw herself into literature and pursuit of a writing career, she meets a German Professor of Philosophy, who has emegrated to America to improve his own prospects.  They talk about Transcendetalism...  I was struck by the ideals hinted at in the movie, and from the tender age of 10 decided this would be how I would try to live my life.  However, I never looked into the movement, being content enough with the explaination in the film of spending your life reflecting on your actions and feelings and forever attempting to perfect yourself - ie, always striving to be the best you can be...

But tonight for the first time I decided to 'Google' it.  I didn't look at too many sources, but what I have come to understand is that it was a Christian movement whose basis was finding spiritual fulfilment and worship outside the doctrine of the church or organised religion.  Well, this is fantastic!  Because in the past 7 or 8 years, I had decided to do this too...

Now if you know me, you'll say - "You big fibber!  You're not a Christian!"  and you'd be correct.  I'm not a Chrisitan.  Nor am I a Bhuddist, Atheist, Agnostic etc etc...  I don't have a religion and I don't believe in GOD, so to speak.  I have spent years opening my eyes to the possibility of GOD, but choosing not to live a religious lifestyle.  I have dabbled in documentaries about various religions and their ideals and method of worship and had lengthy discussions with religious friends about their GOD (a lot of which I listened, but warned them I would not be preached at).  I have decided that because even in the most remote parts of the world, wherever people have come together they have felt the need to experience spirituality and share it with each other.  Eventually they organise a religion to do this, and from what I can see, their spirituality becomes somewhat perverted under the rules and regulations set out for worship in these religions, opening it to corruption and for want of a better description, 'sinful' behaviour.

My theory, philosophy, way of life, whatever is always so hard to explain to people.  As soon as I say I have no religion, and no belief in GOD as religions percieve it, everyone wants to label me an Atheist...  I don't like labels...  People can't understand that I don't want one and I just want to have a spiritual relationship with my own soul, which is what I believe is GOD...  See recent discovery of 'the GOD gene' in scientific circles and you might get an idea of what I'm talking about.

But from what I see, transcendentalism, if you can remove the basic doctrine away from the Christian values in its roots - you have pretty much what I have.  Your own recognition that there is a GOD (excuse the label, but thats the easiest way to explain it) within yourself.  A GOD you are answerable to and want to make proud.  And that GOD is you, yourself, your soul, your heat, your mind...

So tonight I go to bed happy in the thought that I am spritual, and not religious.  And I'm Okay with that.  I'm okay if you want to put a label on me, or tell me that my philosophy is a pile of bull, designed to rid me of the guilt of not following an organised religion and their rules.  I don't care.  I am very in tune with whether my actions are right or wrong, and I'm not looking for any kind of afterlife of redemption other than what I can direct in my life - this life.  There are, or have been, other people out there who like me, want to experience spirituality on their own terms, and make their own rules.  And they are still good people for it.

And to my sisters...  Sweet Dreams.  I am thinking of you. *kiss**kiss*

What to do when the kids go to bed?

What do us mother's do in those sweet hours between settling the children and slipping into dreamland ourselves?

Something quiet!

Check out some mindless TV?  Put on some relaxing tunes?  Catch up on world news?  Get on facebook and catch up on some gossip?  'Check in' with a close friend or a family member?  Relax with a cup of tea (or something stronger) and a good book or crossword puzzle?  Conduct a complex creative activity that the children would mess up?  Throw on a load of laundry and wait for the dishwasher to finish?  Eat that last freddo frog you were telling your kids you'd run out of?

Maybe just ponder the experiences of the day?  Have a smile about something your child or significant other did?

Whatever we chose to do, these moments are some of the most precious parts of the day.  When the world has been crashing down on you, and nothing has gone to plan, these last few precious moments can make the difference between feeling like you achieved nothing today, and making you feel like today was worthwhile, even when most of it was crap!  They can also be the difference between mummy waking up a cranky bear in the morning, or a ray of sunshine - because moderation of enjoyment is sometimes such a hard thing to achieve!

Watch this space :)